The Holmes Family Newsletter

Vol. 1 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10Vol. 2 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13; 14; 15Vol. 3 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8
Vol. 4 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 5 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 6 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7Vol. 7 - 1Vol. 8 - 1

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 1

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 1, Since 1989

May 25, 1989

[Editor's Note: This may be the only issue, so pay attention!] Announce... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 2

The Holmes Family newsletter June 23, 1989 - Vol. 1, No. 2 - Since 1989

[Editor's Note: This may be the last issue.] NEWS

Jeannie's dog, Chance... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 3

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1 No. 3, July, 1989

[Editor's Note: Due to profanity, nudity, and the mature theme of this issue, parental discr... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 4

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 4, August 1, 1989 Largest Tri-Weekly Newsletter Circulation in the West!
[tri-weekly (tri-week'lee) 1. we... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 5

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled List

Lathrop - While attempting... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 6

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 6a, September 17, 1989

Everyone seems to be on a diet these days. Lucy and Jeannie are tryi... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 7

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 7, October 5, 1989

[Let's face it, these things are going to just keep coming.] Steve arrested... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 8

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake! Where were you when it hit?

Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. "I survived," said Don. "But it definitely wasn't fun. It was t... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 9

The Holmes Family Newsletter A Newsletter With A Mission In Life!
Vol. 1, No. 9
Worldwide Circulation
November 21, 1989
The Environmental Issu... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 10

/images/newspaper.gif">The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 10 - Worldwide Circulation - December 6, 1989 Newsletter sold!

The Holmes Family... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 1

HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1
"Hard-Hitting Journalism"
January 3, 1990
[formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter] Predictions f... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 2

Bullseye Vol. 2, No. 2, January 26, 1990

[formerly known as Hard Copy; before that, The Holmes Family Newsletter] Denise expecting!

... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 3

Billy Club Vol. 2, No. 3, February 8, 1990
[aka Bullseye, Hard Copy, The Holmes Family Newsletter] Diane now a doctor

Ca... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 4

Billy Club

News That Hits You Over The Head

Vol. 2, No. 4, February 26, 1990... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 5

Big News & Other Stuff Vol. 2, No. 5
[Yeah, another new name.]
March 19, 1990 Mike to return early

Mike has had a c... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 6

the NEWS Vol. 2, No. 6, April 16, 1990


[Back in spite of popular demand.] WORLD NEWS Mike is back from Germany and looking very Europea... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 7

the NEWS Vol. 2, No. 7, May 1, 1990


[Editor's Note: We would like to apologize for that last issue, but we won't. We'd like to say it'l... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 8

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 2, No. 8
"Anniversary Issue"
May 25, 1990

[Editor's Note: This is the big one! The big enchi... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 9

WORLD NEWS

"Award-Winning Journalism"

Vol. 2, No. 9, June 14, 1990 Dad kills rattler! Special to... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 10

Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 "Pioneer Portuguese" now available

World famous Portuguese historian Lionel Ho... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 11

the NEWSLETTER Vol. 2, No. 11, August 13, 1990 Doug makes pilgrimage

Doug, aka "Sluggo", made a pilgrima... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 12

The Newsletter Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990"Your Only News Source" It's a girl!!

We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we wanted to put out this issue. And, sure enough, she had the baby two weeks early! Wasn't that nice? The bouncing baby girl... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 13

Hometown NewsVol. 2, No. 13, October 20, 1990
[Editor's Note: This is most definitely the last issue.]

Bill graduates!

After seven months, Bill has finally completed his computer programmi... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 14

The Daily Gargoyle Vol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990
"Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!"

[Editor's note: For those of you who actually believed, or hoped, that there would... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 15

NEWS, ETC. Vol. 2, No. 15, December 18, 1990

"Christmas Issue" Lucy to Host Christmas

Lucy will be having Christmas at her house t... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 1

news
from
La-La Land HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Vol. 3, No. 1, January 4, 1991 Newsletter editor murdered!

The editor of this newsletter was a... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 2

the NEWSLETTER Vol. 3, No. 2
February 10, 1991 It's a girl... and a boy and a girl and a boy...

Chance, a dog, has given birth to... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 3

and
now...
THE NEWS Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only "No. 3")

April 26, 1991 Doug returns from Hungary

On March 21, Doug left Sacrament... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 4

the Evening Star Post-Tribune Dispatch (we couldn't decide on a name) Vol. 3, No. 4, June 4, 1991 Bikers ride to Yosemite

On Mother's Day, John, Jeannie, Don and Diane (collectively known as "Hell... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 5

NEWS Vol. 3, No. 5, July 6, 1991

Northern California's leading newsletter since 1989
(except for those few months when we were Southern California's leading newsletter) Record heat melts... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 6

The Leaky Faucet"Irritating, yet soothing. Obnoxious, yet hypnotic"

Vol. 3, No. 6, July 30, 1991Sapphire dispute settled out of court

Steve... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 7

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 7, October 14, 1991 Mike lands great job!

Michael has been named Executive Producer of Cal State Stanislaus' new bi-we... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 8

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 8, December 10, 1991 Steve & Denise host Thanksgiving

Turkey was served and everybody ate it. What else is there to say? Ok... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 1

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 1, January 4, 1992

"Everything you've ever wanted to know about anything." Diane has sur... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 2

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 2, February 13, 1992
"The quintessential newsletter."
Warning: May not be suitable for the humor impaired. ... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 3

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 3, March 18, 1992

"More of the same, basically." Doug elected president

With this nati... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 4

The Squeaky Sprocket
Vol. 4, No. 4, May 11, 1992
"The intelligent person's newsletter of choice." Riots in L.A., earthq... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 5

The Broken Record Vol. 4, No. 5, June 25, 1992

"Predictable, irritating. Really, no redeeming qualities whatsoever."

L.A. riots: T... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 6

The Barking Dog
Vol. 4 No. 6, July 22, 1992
"Who names these newsletters, anyway?" earthquakes, earthquakes! ... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 7

The Belching Frog Vol. 4, No. 7, September 16, 1992

"Thomas should like this name." Doug returns again

On August... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 8

The Leaping Lizard Vol. 4, No. 8, October 20, 1992 EDITOR'S NOTE ...

After Grandma's recent birthday party (see article below), this newsletter was... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 1

The Stupid Kangaroo Vol. 5, No. 1, February 1, 1993

Editor's Note: This newsletter welcomes the New Year (kicking and screami... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 2

The Sacred CowVol. 5, No. 2, March 15, 1993 Dad sucked from plane!

Well, almost. And it was 41 years ago. [Hey, nobody can accuse us of being accurate or cu... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 3

A Face in the Crowd Vol. 5, No. 3, May 25, 1993 Eleanor Gets License

After taking the DMV driving test every year since the age of 16, Eleanor has finally passed and been given her drivers license!

"It just goes to show that perseverance pays off," said Eleanor. Bill Moves... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 4

Not Just Another NewsletterMONDAY, JULY 19, 1993CIRCULATION: From 8 to 15 (depending on our mood and how many stamps we have)... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 5

rabblerouser Vol. 5, No. 5, August 8, 1993 Bill moving to Nashville

Bill is moving to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue his boyhood dream of being a country singing star! Oh wait, that's Do... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 6

Hoot and a HollerVol. 5, No. 6, September 28, 1993 - Nashville edition
Journalism at its finest! - Yearly subscription rate: $135 Brouns family buys property LAT... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 7

The Rotten Apple
"Journalism with visible holes"Vol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993 Mike Rolls Car!

LIVINGSTON, CA - Remember... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 8

The Happy Hairball (something we keep coughing up)
Volume 5, Number 8 December 20, 1993
Publisher: This guy ->>
Editor: Same guy
Distributor: Brave little delivery boys and girls worldwide
Address: Nashvi... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 1

Itchy Trigger Finger
Vol. 6, No. 1, February 6, 1994Earthquake in Southern California!

We're sure you've heard all about it on the news, but we just wanted to mention it in case you've just recently emerged from a cave.... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 2

Falling Down a Manhole (can be quite painful and should be avoided)Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994 Michael moves!M... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 3

The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 Jeannie finds dog

Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly i... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 4

Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon.

Vol. 6 No. 4

June 28, 1994 title="Tiffany" name="Tiffany">Tiffany wins awards

Tiffany and her horse, Rocky, of Tracy, CA, competed in a local horse show a couple of months ago. [See how... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 5

/images/behind-the-8-bal.gif">Behind the Eight Ball Who is that behind the eight ball, anyway?

Vol. 6 No. 5, August 21, 1994 Jeannie Breaks Hand

Je... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 6

Coyote BreathVol. 6 No. 6, October 26, 1994 Don rides to Denver

In August, Don rode his motorcycle from Nashville to Denver. He wouldn't say wh... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 7

Yee-Haw The only newsletter we do!

Vol. 6, No. 7, December 29, 1994Belinda Has Puppies!

Another one of Lucy's dogs has gone and had a litter of pups.... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 7 No 1

The Wandering Eye Vol. 7 No. 1, March 19, 1995

[We're back! Sorry it took so long between issues, but the entire staff was frozen solid in... read more


Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 8 No 1

Once in a Blue MoonVol. 8 No. 1, February 1997

A lot has happened since our last newsletter, so let's just jump right in with the "news"... Mike and Evelyn get marrie... read more



Vol. 1 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10Vol. 2 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13; 14; 15Vol. 3 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8
Vol. 4 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 5 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 6 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7Vol. 7 - 1Vol. 8 - 1