Holmes Family News

Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. "I survived," said Don. "But it definitely wasn't fun. It was t... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 9

The Holmes Family Newsletter A Newsletter With A Mission In Life! Worldwide Circulation
November 21, 1989
The Environmental Issu... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 10

newspaper.gifThe Holmes Family Newsletter, Vol. 1, No. 10 - Worldwide Circulation - December 6, 1989

Newsletter sold!

The Holmes Family... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 1

HARD COPY, Vol. 2, No. 1
"Hard-Hitting Journalism"
January 3, 1990
[formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter]

Predictions f... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 2

Bullseye, Vol. 2, No. 2, January 26, 1990

[formerly known as Hard Copy; before that, The Holmes Family Newsletter]

Denise expecting!

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 3

Billy Club, Vol. 2, No. 3, February 8, 1990
[aka Bullseye, Hard Copy, The Holmes Family Newsletter]

Diane now a doctor

Ca... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 4

Billy Club

News That Hits You Over The Head ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 5

Big News & Other Stuff, Vol. 2, No. 5
[Yeah, another new name.]
March 19, 1990

Mike to return early

Mike has had a c... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 6

the NEWS, Vol. 2, No. 6, April 16, 1990

[Back in spite of popular demand.]

WORLD NEWS Mike is back from Germany and looking very Europea... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 7

the NEWS, Vol. 2, No. 7, May 1, 1990

[Editor's Note: We would like to apologize for that last issue, but we won't. We'd like to say it'l... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 8

The Holmes Family Newsletter, Vol. 2, No. 8
"Anniversary Issue"
May 25, 1990

[Editor's Note: This is the big one! The big enchi... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 9

WORLD NEWS

"Award-Winning Journalism"

Dad kills rattler!

Special to... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 10

Things You Need To Know, Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990

"Pioneer Portuguese" now available

World famous Portuguese historian Lionel Ho... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 11

the NEWSLETTER, Vol. 2, No. 11, August 13, 1990

Doug makes pilgrimage

Doug, aka "Sluggo", made a pilgrima... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 12

The Newsletter, Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990"Your Only News Source"

It's a girl!!

We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we wanted to put out this issue. And, sure enough, she had the baby two weeks early! Wasn't that nice? The bouncing baby girl... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 13

Hometown NewsVol. 2, No. 13, October 20, 1990
[Editor's Note: This is most definitely the last issue.]

Bill graduates!

After seven months, Bill has finally completed his computer programmi... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 14

The Daily Gargoyle, Vol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990
"Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!"

[Editor's note: For those of you who actually believed, or hoped, that there would... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 15

NEWS, ETC., Vol. 2, No. 15, December 18, 1990

"Christmas Issue"

Lucy to Host Christmas

Lucy will be having Christmas at her house t... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 1

news
from
La-La Land HAPPY NEW YEAR!!Newsletter editor murdered!

The editor of this newsletter was a... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 2

the NEWSLETTER, Vol. 3, No. 2
February 10, 1991

It's a girl... and a boy and a girl and a boy...

Chance, a dog, has given birth to... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 3

and
now...
THE NEWS, Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only "No. 3")

April 26, 1991

Doug returns from Hungary

On March 21, Doug left Sacrament... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 4

the Evening Star Post-Tribune Dispatch

(we couldn't decide on a name), Vol. 3, No. 4, June 4, 1991

Bikers ride to Yosemite

On Mother's Day, John, Jeannie, Don and Diane (collectively known as "Hell... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 5

NEWS, Vol. 3, No. 5, July 6, 1991

Northern California's leading newsletter since 1989
(except for those few months when we were Southern California's leading newsletter)

Record heat melts... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 6

The Leaky Faucet"Irritating, yet soothing. Obnoxious, yet hypnotic"Sapphire dispute settled out of court

Steve... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 7

The Leaky Faucet, Vol. 3, No. 7, October 14, 1991

Mike lands great job!

Michael has been named Executive Producer of Cal State Stanislaus' new bi-we... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 8

The Leaky Faucet, Vol. 3, No. 8, December 10, 1991

Steve & Denise host Thanksgiving

Turkey was served and everybody ate it. What else is there to say? Ok... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 1

The Leaky Faucet, Vol. 4, No. 1, January 4, 1992

"Everything you've ever wanted to know about anything."

Diane has sur... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 2

The Leaky Faucet, Vol. 4, No. 2, February 13, 1992
"The quintessential newsletter."
Warning: May not be suitable for the humor impaired.

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 3

The Leaky Faucet, Vol. 4, No. 3, March 18, 1992

"More of the same, basically."

Doug elected president

With this nati... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 4

The Squeaky Sprocket
"The intelligent person's newsletter of choice."

Riots in L.A., earthq... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 5

The Broken Record, Vol. 4, No. 5, June 25, 1992

"Predictable, irritating. Really, no redeeming qualities whatsoever."

L.A. riots: T... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 6

The Barking Dog
"Who names these newsletters, anyway?"

earthquakes, earthquakes! ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 7

The Belching Frog, Vol. 4, No. 7, September 16, 1992

"Thomas should like this name."

Doug returns again

On August... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 8

The Leaping Lizard, Vol. 4, No. 8, October 20, 1992

EDITOR'S NOTE ...

After Grandma's recent birthday party (see article below), this newsletter was... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 1

The Stupid Kangaroo, Vol. 5, No. 1, February 1, 1993

Editor's Note: This newsletter welcomes the New Year (kicking and screami... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 2

The Sacred Cow

Dad sucked from plane!

Well, almost. And it was 41 years ago. [Hey, nobody can accuse us of being accurate or cu... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 3

A Face in the Crowd

Eleanor Gets License

After taking the DMV driving test every year since the age of 16, Eleanor has finally passed and been given her drivers license!

"It just goes to show that perseverance pays off," said Eleanor.

Bill Moves... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 4

Not Just Another Newsletter

MONDAY, JULY 19, 1993CIRCULATION: From 8 to 15 (depending on our mood and how many stamps we have)... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 5

rabblerouser

Bill moving to Nashville

Bill is moving to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue his boyhood dream of being a country singing star! Oh wait, that's Do... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 6

Hoot and a HollerVol. 5, No. 6, September 28, 1993 - Nashville edition
Journalism at its finest! - Yearly subscription rate: $135

Brouns family buys property LAT... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 7

The Rotten Apple
"Journalism with visible holes"Vol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993

Mike Rolls Car!

LIVINGSTON, CA - Remember... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 8

The Happy Hairball (something we keep coughing up)
Volume 5, Number 8 December 20, 1993
Publisher: This guy ->>
Editor: Same guy
Distributor: Brave little delivery boys and girls worldwide
Address: Nashvi... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 1

Itchy Trigger Finger
Earthquake in Southern California!

We're sure you've heard all about it on the news, but we just wanted to mention it in case you've just recently emerged from a cave.... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 2

Falling Down a Manhole (can be quite painful and should be avoided)Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994

Michael moves!M... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 3

The Obtuse Moose Jeannie finds dog

Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly irritable recently. She would swish her tale in agitation whenever someone tried to saddle her, for instance, and was just being "bitchy," in general. Like a lot of fat old gray mares.

"Maybe she�... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 4

Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon.June 28, 1994

title="Tiffany" name="TiffanyTiffany wins awards

Tiffany and her horse, Rocky, of Tracy, CA, competed in a local horse show a couple of months ago. [See how... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 5

behind-the-8-bal.gifBehind the Eight Ball Who is that behind the eight ball, anyway?Jeannie Breaks Hand

Je... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 6

Coyote BreathVol. 6 No. 6, October 26, 1994

Don rides to Denver

In August, Don rode his motorcycle from Nashville to Denver. He wouldn't say wh... read more

Mike and Evelyn get marrie... read more