the NEWS

WORLD NEWS

Mike is back from Germany and looking very European. (Fancy haircut, pale complexion, but otherwise healthy.) He's having trouble getting used to speaking English again. But then, he always did have trouble with that.
Greg visited Sacramento last week to report that June's vegetable garden is doing very well. "I can't even name all the things she's growing. It boggles the mind," says Greg.
Don has come up with a new board game that's sure to sweep the nation. It's called "Holy Wars." It has something to do with Mennonites, Drunkards and Assyrians. See Don for details.

SOCIETY NEWS

Well, Denise's Easter dinner was a rousing success. Everybody was there. The food was good. Diane gave free back adjustments and chiropractic opinions. Dad told bad jokes nobody laughed at. ("Went right over their heads," Dad explained.) Everybody wanted to know where Mike was. Grandma drank a lot of water. Thomas and Tiffany caused $37,000 worth of property damage. Doug called from Uncle Lenny's house and talked to everybody until Bill hung up on him. In other words, it was the usual family gathering.

SPORTS

• Bill and Steve are still playing tennis regularly. Steve wins just a little more often than Bill.
• Mike and Bill played tennis a couple weeks ago. Bill won, but as Mike explains, "I was just out there to get a tan, anyway."
• Steve, Denise and Bill went miniature golfing last week. Actually, they went bowling but couldn't get a lane. So they took the next logical step and went golfing. Of course, Steve tried to cheat and, after 18 holes, said he'd won by one shot. But Bill demanded a recount and, sure enough, Bill had won by four shots. Steve has been placed on miniature suspension.
• Jeannie and Lucy showed Chance in another dog show in Sacramento on Easter Sunday. We can only assume Chance didn't win because Jeannie didn't want to talk about it.
• Hockey News: Last week the Los Angeles Kings (no relation to the Sacramento Kings) eliminated the defending champion Calgary Flames four games to two in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
• Horse News: The California harness racing circuit returns to Cal-Expo on Friday, May 4. The Kentucky Derby will be in Kentucky on May 5. The Derby favorite will be Mister Frisky, but I'm picking Summer Squall, especially if it rains (no pun intended).

BIRTHDAYS

Greg